The Prince and the Peas
by Ayamelynn
Summary: Who said that only girls had prove themselves their future mother in-laws? What about the guys? A friend and i wrote this for english class. Think of it as a feminist version of The Princess and the Pea.


Once upon a time on the eastern sea board  
Nine families plus one and that of a Lord  
Sent children away to be taught by scholars  
A school for the boys and Miss Porter's for the daughters  
Freedom came way by three months of summer  
Each child returned home in their very own Hummer  
The children were hosted, one family did the honor  
The summer of our story ten little boys and one daughter

His lordship was said to be quite nutty  
He had decided that his daughter needed a honey  
He'd test the sons of the men he most trusted  
To find one who cared for and not only lusted  
After his dear girl, his joy and his pride  
Theses poor boys, not one would get a free ride  
They'd go through tests and trials, be beaten and hurt  
To find the most manly but not so overt  
To suppress the future bride  
He find the one to whom the world opened wide

The Princess, who was not a real princess but just her father's princess, had spent her college years searching for a true prince. A man she could proudly bring home to her mother and father. After years of searching and home comings the Princess gave up.

The summer before she was to graduate from Yale the Princess, whose name is Corinne, came home to an elaborate test of her father's planning. The Queen, and or Corinne's mother, wanted nothing to do with the plan and told the King, Corinne's father the King of the local car dealerships, quite plainly.  
"Nothing good can come from this. You will be made a fool." The Queen said.

"Silly wife." The King laughed. He would test the boys he trusted most. The neighbor's boys who had the King had the honor of hosting for the summer. He would test them sneakily and prove his wife wrong. In the end the true prince for his daughter would be found.

The first test had to be thought out. To do this the King told the boys to come home one day and his daughter another. As the boys arrived the King sent them to the guest floor. Everything was going to be perfect, the King thought as he watched the boys trying to see who stuck out as the true prince.  
The next day beautiful Corinne arrived quite upset that her father had tricked her. The ten boys stood around the front door unsure what to do as Corinne argued with the King. A few stepped forward and said they'd take Corinne's bags into the house. The King silently decided this would be the first test, chivalry. Dramatic by nature and theatrical by trade Corinne pretended to faint seeing who would catch her. All but three of the ten had giant bags in their hands.

Two had stayed back by the door to lazy to help the lady. The other simply had not ran fast enough to the car. Easily he caught the princess and carried her to the door. Whispering a question only for Corinne the boy smiled as Corinne nodded. The King went to the two slackers and pointed to the empty guest house far beyond the main house. He quickly explained that was where they'd be staying.

"What?" One asked.

"You are not worthy of my daughter." The King explained.

"Uh…we do not want her." The other stated.

"Then go on." The King said. Two down, eight to go.

The next test was to come the next week. As the college kids lounged around the house the King snuck out to the garage. He came upon Corinne's car. Quickly and sneakily he lifted the hood and meddled with things. Nothing to bad but enough to make Corinne complain that her car was broken. This was exactly what she did when she got home from the mall that afternoon.

"My car is making a weird noise." She said looking at her father. The King shrugged.

"Have one of your friends fix it." The King said sitting on the front porch.

He watched as each boy tried to figure out what was wrong with the car. The last boy was the same as had been last in the first test. He reached into the hood and after a few minutes he told Corinne to try starting the car. The car started and made no noise but the purr of a good car. Corinne pulled out her cell phone and her fingers moved across the buttons like lightning. The boy who'd fixed the car pulled his own phone from a pocket and smiled winking at Corinne. The King nodded very pleased, at least some could do something right. Then he turned singled three boys out to help him with something. The three had simply just looked at the car before giving up; useless.

Uselessness was not something The King could have for his little Princess. They were sent to the guest house. Five down, five to go, the King thought.

On the tenth day of the second month of summer The Princess had her birthday. Like every year Corinne held a huge party inviting all the friends she'd ever had. The King had a large surveillance system installed. He trusted the boys, he truly did, but he decided he needed to keep a better eye on his…plan. The Queen just laughed as the King tried to keep everyone from seeing him sneak into his "tower", the room above the garage. The flooring he said would collapse under any weight, and so kept everyone out.

The night of the party came and Corinne sparkled. She was everyone's Princess tonight. In his town the King sat back with a bowl of popcorn waiting. Down in the garden the dancing began and the King sat up. This was the third test, respect. Corinne and the "last boy" danced first to a nice slow song. Then came the other music. The King squinted his eyes as he watched the kids pile onto the dance floor. His eyes stayed glued to Corinne, everything going nicely, they might all pass this test. But no one boy had to ruin it. One boy was grinding much too close to Corinne for the Kings liking. No way he was going to pass the respect test.

Without a second thought the King ran out of his "tower" and out to the garden. His wife rolled her eyes as he raced past, they were not even suppose to be home. The King stood for a second trying to locate his Princess and the toad she was dancing with. He found them but when he got to the couple Corinne was gone. No matter she was not to blame. He grabbed the toad's ear and pulled him off the dance floor. On the way he grabbed another boy, no way was he going to make it the poor boy could not dance to save his life. Arms flaying The King pulled them away.

He sent the boys off the guest house with the rest of the rejects. Seven down, three to go.  
Back at the party Corinne was opening her presents. She took a little box from the "last boy" and hugged him as he hooked something behind her neck.

The last week of summer came quickly and the King had a lot of planning to do. He wanted everything perfect for his little Princess's last end of summer dinner. Plus he had the last test to do. He thought and thought and thought, finally it came to him. Before dinner the King went down to the basement and found a bag of peas. He told the family's cook to make them as spice as she could without making them a different color. The cook nodded thinking to herself that the King had finally lost his mind. When the three boys that has survived the test and the "royal" family sat down to dinner the Princess spoke.  
"I'm allergic to peas." She said looking confused at her father.

"Eat some green beans." He said slapping the hand of one of the boys who tried to get some green beans. "Want some peas?" he asked the boy.

"No, but I'll take some–" the boy stopped biting his lip as the King served him a spoonful of peas. It was a few minutes before anything happened. The Queen looked from one boy to another. Two were a sick white-green while the "last boy" sat making a face.

"What did you put in those peas?" The Queen yelled as the green faced boys clutched their throats.  
"Nothing! I'm not a cook!" The King yelled back jumping up and running to the kitchen. He came back with two glasses of milk and made the two boys drink. Corinne looked at the last boy, whose name was Ace waiting for him to turn green. He didn't Ace just coughed once and cleared his throat.  
"Spicy peas." He said confused. "Who makes spicy peas."

The two boys by now were fine as they sipped their milk. The King stood before the very confused Corinne and Ace.

"You are the last one standing. You, Ace, are the only one worthy of my daughter. You are a True Prince. I chose you for my little Princess. Even if you do go to Harvard."

"Actually I got to Yale, too." Ace said pausing. "Harvard just has better parties. The King felt his smug smile fading.

"Go back. You pick him for who?" Corinne asked pointing to Ace.

"For you." The King answered grinning.

"And who did you pick for me again?" Corinne asked.

"Ace."

"My boyfriend?" Corinne asked.

"Excuse me?" The King asked his smiled fading.

"Ace, Daddy he's my boyfriend. We've been dating since the beginning of the summer. I mean we've been wearing necklaces with each other's initials since my birthday." Corinne said holding up a little silver "A" on a silver chain, Ace help up his "C".

"Sorry, excuse me?" The King asked stupidly.

"Dad you did a bunch of stuff and I already had a boyfriend."

"But I broke your car, and I bought a surveillance system, and I made the cook make extra spicy peas." The King said in a small voice.

"You did what?" Corinne asked as Ace leaned over holding his stomach. The King saw then that no tests had proved to his Princess that Ace was a True Prince. To her he'd always been one, even when he didn't know he was being tested he came to the rescue like a true prince should. His little Princess didn't need him to find her a True Prince, she could do it all on her own.

Now that is a true story…sort of.


End file.
